THERAPY for BIG CHANGES IN FLOWOOD

The short answer is it depends on a combination of factors – if you’ve been in therapy before, your specific issues, and your goals. Most people begin to experience some relief in the first few weeks because it feels good to finally start taking action. Over time small, gradual changes will build momentum and lead to lasting change. The average length of therapy needed to resolve a simple issue is about 4-6 months. Sometimes that’s all people need. Other times they choose to set new goals and continue our work together.

Yes, counseling can help with grief. Often, we get “stuck” in the grieving process because we feel complicated emotions like guilt, relief, self-blame, and anger along with the sadness that comes with grief. Counseling can help you sort through the difficulty of unanswered questions and the thoughts of “I wish I could …” and “I should have…” 

If what you’re going through is negatively impacting your life, relationships, sleep, or work, counseling can help. For people who are in the middle of a transition period, counseling can be a place to talk through things and get additional support. If you’re feeling stuck after something has happened and you’ve somewhat gotten back to normal, counseling can help you figure out how to move forward. 

Think about it this way: an unprocessed memory is similar to an unsaved document left open on a computer screen. It stays active in the background, taking up mental bandwidth and energy. When we experience trauma or overwhelming events—such as an accident, divorce, or significant loss—our natural coping mechanisms can become overloaded. Our brains store these disturbing memories differently than ordinary, day-to-day events. They essentially become "stuck" and remain unprocessed.

EMDR therapy activates the brain’s natural healing process to effectively "save" and "file" these memories. Once the memory is fully processed, it no longer takes up day-to-day mental bandwidth; you can still recall the event if needed, but the associated emotions and distress are much lower.

I was a counselor for over a decade before I became interested in EMDR. EMDR is like a therapy bulldozer, and not everyone needs or wants that. I also use Internal Family Systems (IFS), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and ego state theories in my work, and I often start with the basics before building up to using EMDR. Our work together is highly individualized, and the specific approach we take depends on your personality, your goals, and what feels most helpful to you.

By the time we get to the processing stage of EMDR, we’ll have a good idea of what memories to target. If you feel unsure about which memories to focus on, I use several methods to identify which memories might be a good starting point. Often, we target memories that feel "unfinished" or difficult to resolve through conversation alone. Together we’ll do some planning and strategizing to choose memories for EMDR work.

Definitely not. I usually take at least 3-4 sessions getting to know you and your story. Sometimes we jump into EMDR pretty quickly, and other times we need to put some foundational work into place first. If we take some time assessing your readiness to begin EMDR and carefully plan, then EMDR will go more smoothly because we’ll minimize the most common roadblocks that stall EMDR. We’ll work together to create a clear plan for addressing past and current trauma in a logical, organized way. I’ve found that if we follow the principle “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast” we’ll do better work.