I believe therapy should be something you look forward to…and that actually leads to change.
Meet Stephanie Vance, Licensed Professional Counselor in Flowood. Specializing in EMDR, anxiety, trauma, and more.
ARE YOU SCARED OF GOING BACKWARD IN LIFE?
Despite struggling to get where you are, it always feels like you’re one step away from losing the success you’ve created. Maybe you’re afraid of repeating the past and getting stuck in old habits, or feel anxious, sad, or angry at random times, and can’t explain why.
Now, you want answers—for your life, your feelings, and your relationships to make sense. You’re ready to do the deeper work of exploring the root cause of why you feel stressed and overwhelmed.
I can help you start thinking about your experiences, your thoughts, and your emotions in a different way to help you break out of automatic patterns you find yourself stuck in, and to get to the other side of something that changed your life. Together we can process the things you’ve been through so you can heal and move into the future with clarity and peace.
THERAPY WITH ME is…
Intentionally structured
Evidence-based
Backed by 20+ years of experience
Slow, steady progress
Gently challenging you when needed
Learning to trust yourself & your intuition
THERAPY WITH ME is not…
Venting and talking without direction
Homework assignments and worksheets
Telling you to pray or read your Bible
Over simplified solutions like “just let it go” and “stop thinking that way”
Cookie cutter or one size fits all
Telling you what to do
What to expect when we work together
The first few sessions are about me getting to know you, your story, and what you need help with, so I do more listening than talking in this early stage.
During the first few sessions, I like to establish a general timeline and picture of your life. This might include talking about what type of family you grew up in, your relationships, and how you ended up in your current job or career. We’ll talk about the things that made you who you are – the big moments in your life, both the good and the bad. Taking time to do that early in the counseling process helps us immediately start to look for patterns and the threads that tie everything together.
After we get a basic timeline established, we can start to dive into exploring what’s happening in the present. It’s helpful if you come to session with 1-2 things you might want to talk about. It can be almost anything – relationship problems, work stress, or being unable to stop thinking about some jerk who cut you off in traffic. Maybe you’re having a bad day and don’t know why. Whatever it is, we’ll start to explore why and how this thing is impacting you and use that to start identifying how you view yourself, the world, and relationships.
WhY I DO THIS WORK
The counseling relationship creates a space where we can talk about the things you can’t tell anyone else. Things you’ve never said out loud before – hopes and dreams, old wounds, and pain you don’t allow anyone else to see.
I know how to do that because I’ve been on both sides of the therapy relationship. I’ve walked through my own dark places, faced anxiety and trauma, and carried grief and loss. A counselor can only walk with you as far as they have been on their own journey. I’ve done the hard work in my own life, and that means I know how to help you find the strength to move forward in yours. It also means I’m not working through my stuff during your therapy session.
I have a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy and Counseling. Although I primarily work with individuals at this time, my training in family therapy helps me understand the patterns and family interactions that are happening in the background of your life.
EMDR Certified Therapist through EMDR International Association
Licensed Professional Counselor since 2008
Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy and Counseling - Reformed Theological Seminary
Bachelor of Arts - Mississippi College
METHODS & MODALITIES
In my practice, I use a combination of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to support my clients – whether they’re coming in with trauma, anxiety, grief, or another challenge. The specific approach we take depends on your personality, your goals, and what feels most helpful to you.
Our work together is highly individualized. If this is your first time in therapy, we’ll start with identifying the thought, emotion, and behavior cycles you’re noticing in your life. If you’ve been in therapy before, we can use the insight you’ve previously gained as the starting point for our work together.
We’ll only use the methods you’re comfortable with. If approaches like IFS or EMDR don't feel like a good fit for you, we don't have to use them. For some clients, having a supportive space to talk is the primary focus, and we may never move into EMDR processing. My goal is to ensure our sessions are tailored to what works best for you.
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EMDR is a way of working with disturbing or upsetting memories. If you’ve experienced trauma or an event that really upset you, you may have memories about the event that come up even when you don’t want to think about what happened. This happens because our brains process memories in an inefficient way when our abilities to cope become overwhelmed. EMDR helps you re-process the event in a controlled way so that the memory no longer feels like it takes you over when you think about it. I use EMDR as one of the later stages of therapy. That way you can use some of the coping skills you’ve learned to help you get through the difficult parts. And we’ll have worked together for long enough for you to trust me to get you through the hard parts.
Early in therapy it might seem like we’re “just talking.” But the questions I ask, the subjects we talk about, and the skills I teach all have a specific purpose.
Identifying thoughts, emotions, and body sensations and learning new coping skills creates a path for successfully using EMDR. Think of it like getting onto the interstate. You don’t go from being still to driving 80 miles an hour. You gradually build up speed on the ramp, so you can merge into the flow of high-speed traffic. All of these things build skills that we’ll use in EMDR. They’re the “on ramp” for EMDR. Some people who come into therapy already have these skills and some don’t, so when we shift into EMDR varies from person to person.
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Most of the studies that I’ve read tend to agree that the relationship between the therapist and the client is one of the most important factors in determining therapy outcomes. This means it’s extremely important for you to feel that the therapist gets you – understands your life and what it’s like to be you. I keep this in mind and spend the first few weeks of therapy focusing on hearing your story and getting to know you – your worldview, family history, and important events in your life. If it feels like I don’t understand you or if you feel we don’t click, we probably won’t get very far.
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CBT focuses on how thoughts, feelings, behavior, and events are connected in a loop. We’ll explore how you talk to yourself and how you think about yourself. For most people this is automatic and happens in the background. We evaluate ourselves and our behavior hundreds or thousands of times each day. Sometimes these thoughts are positive like “I tried my best.” Other times they tend to be negative like “I’m not good enough.” Our lives are so busy we don’t usually take the time to think about what we’re thinking, but it’s helpful to slow down and do some exploring in this area. It will point us in the direction of where the work needs to happen.
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Another important part of therapy is exploring and discovering the internal signals that your emotions are sending you. Anger isn’t just something that makes you snap at your partner. Instead, it’s an internal message letting you know that something about your situation doesn’t feel fair or maybe that your feelings and wants aren’t being supported or listened to. We’ll talk about how all emotions have purpose and value. They’re messengers, and it’s important to learn how to listen to what they’re saying.
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The movie Inside Out is a great picture of how IFS works.
We all have these parts that take turns running our lives. You might have an anxious part, a part that makes you work really hard, a part that makes you avoid or escape, or a part that keeps you safe.
Some people talk this way naturally. They might say, part of me wants to stay home tonight and part of me wants to go out with my friends. Or maybe part of me wants to find a new job and part of me wants to stay where I am because at least I know what to expect.
These parts show up in lots of different areas, whether it’s work, school, or relationships. We’ll work together to identify the different parts, how they help you, and where they might be keeping you stuck. I’ll also help you identify the conflicts and power struggles between the different parts. This helps you sort out why you feel so mixed up about a particular decision or situation. Ultimately, the goal is to teach these parts how to work together as a team instead of fighting for control.
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In session I’ll lead you through some experiential exercises that will help you learn how to shift into a calmer emotional state. Learning and practicing these skills over time builds emotional regulation. We’ll explore a variety here. Different people prefer different ones, so we’ll try a few to find the one that works best for you.
